Selling the silver

(Written 11/6/2011)

I have a friend who buys and sells warships, and she put me on to this potential bargain:

(URL long expired)

Yes, it's the Ark Royal, listed on the Govt version of eBay. It'll go for some millions, but probably fewer than you'd expect, and well below cost price. It'll be sold to some friendly nation, or it will be sold for scrap. Not only do I think that this is wrong, it also goes to show how near-sighted the British Govt are.

Pray do not steel yourself for a rant about Britain needing aircraft carriers, or a wail about "selling off our heritage", or any sentimental crap. No, it's just daft to sell this particular asset when it could be put to a profitable use.

London is seriously short of heliports, particularly close to the City. So, moor the Ark Royal in the Thames and run it as a heliport. Also as a free home for the London Air Ambulance Service. Despite support from Virgin, they are short of cash. Plus, the Ark Royal could easily become a tourist attraction in the same way that HMS Belfast is.

(HMS Belfast forms a small part of the defence of London, as her well-maintained guns are trained on the M1 service area at Scratchwood, where forces invading from the north might be stopped, or severely embuggeranced. The Ark Royal has lots more guns. They'll be removed before the sale, together with all targeting systems. Keep the Ark Royal, though, moor it in the Thames, and several M25 junctions could be secured.)

Ah, but won't running the Ark Royal as a heliport and tourist attraction require some specialised staff? Too right, FUGgers, but luckily, thanks to Navy staff cuts, quite a lot of well-qualified people have suddenly and reluctantly entered the job market.

Here in Portsmouth, we have HMS Victory, in dry dock and welcoming paying visitors for nearly a century. The revenues generated by visitors now exceed the construction price and all operating costs during her active life,  - even allowing for inflation. We also have the Mary Rose, and her lengthy and hugely expensive restoration has been paid for by the tourists who want to see her being restored. Nearby is HMS Warrior, restoration now fully paid by - oh, you guessed. Should you wish to see these three fine ships, it will cost you £26.00, but that doesn't seem to put people off.

Despite these fairly obvious examples, the Ark Royal will be sold to raise several millions and reduce the tax burden by roughly the same as the Govt will spend on bombing Libya during the remainder of this month. Daft, ain't it? When we could have a convenient heliport, quite a lot of jobs for ex-Navy people and a new tourist attraction for the cost of not selling something we own already?

This, though, is the problem with democratically-elected Governments. They have to try to win elections every five years, and the Ark Royal won't go into profit in that time. Oh, it will be a net asset in twenty years time, and will carry on being so for at least a hundred years more, but come the next election it will still represent a net loss and foolish Government spending. (Actually, if anything, it will represent foolish Government "not selling", but that kind of concept is too difficult for many voters to grasp.)

When I was on the National Trust tour, I saw many lovely gardens and parkland. The wealthy people who planted them did so for the future, because the vistas they planned would not mature during their lifetime. But then, they were not elected, and nobody questioned their spending, nor their not-selling.

There are many reasons to question this Coalitions' ability to govern Britain, and selling the Ark Royal is probably a small one. It's a damn good example, though.