That Higgs Boson

(Written 14/12/2011, in response to a conversation in the group I share my stuff with. Most of them write better than I do.)


> Imagine what other fundamental particles there might be: the moron (the
> fundamental particle of stupidity),

I believe you'll find that's the Groupon.

On an only slightly more serious note, thank goodness there seems to be tentative evidence of the existence of the particle that provides the missing mass for all other particles. I have it from a trusted source that the International Society of Top Boffins really didn't fancy going back and weighing the universe again. The travel is apparently very tedious, although the expenses are remarkably good.

Then there'd be the task of dividing the weight/mass of the universe by the number of atomic particles in it, to determine the mass of the average particle - again! This requires a special team who can count in zeros, because "Hang on... was that ten to the power of 4026821 or 4026820?" doesn't really cut it in scientific circles. Lest you doubt this, I'll remind you that I have trained mathematicians at Imperial College. (On re-reading the last sentence, I should make it clear that I did some training for mathematicians, not that I keep a pack of snarling Boolian algebra commandos in West Kensington, ready to pounce at my order.)

So it looks like there's good evidence that the universe works the way we think it does, and that everything from gravitational field theory to electromagnetism can still be explained without recourse to "And then a miracle happens..."

On the other hand, if the evidence proves false and there is no particle that adds mass to atoms, I will actually weigh considerably less. So that's a win either way. (I tried out some digital scales at a shop earlier today, scales that announce your weight in your choice of voices. Apparently, I weigh "Warranty void".)

Y'know, with my grasp of science, particle theory and quantum, I could be the next Professor Brian Cox! All I need is a hit single!